


Through Your Tattered Window Pane

by emraldmoon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Irondad, Memory Loss, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 15:23:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20311717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emraldmoon/pseuds/emraldmoon
Summary: While fighting a battle he wasn't supposed to be in, Tony loses his memory. He slowly regains it, seeming to remember everyone... except Peter.





	Through Your Tattered Window Pane

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the promps by leopard-prompts on Tumblr, “It’s been 6 years!” / “You promised me- you promised!” / “You can’t tell me you didn’t care! Not after everything!” / “Who are you again?” / “Fight like you mean it!”

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Tony wasn’t even supposed to be  _ on  _ this mission. Peter had followed a truck of glowing purple weapons into a dark back alley and had taken out the driver, but suddenly five more men were hopping out of the trailer and aiming guns at his head.

Peter could’ve taken them out easily. Apparently, Karen didn’t agree, because suddenly Iron Man was flying overhead, firing his repulsors at everything that moved. He had the five criminals on the ground before they could even get their weapons up and he dropped in front of Peter, putting the truck and six men behind him.

The Iron Man faceplate lifted and revealed Tony’s worried face as he scanned Peter for injuries.

“You alright, kid?”

Peter reached up to push away a gauntlet which was attempting to touch his face. “Yeah, I’m f-  _ look out! _ ”

But it was too late. A man that had been previously knocked down was reaching for his gun, and neither hero could see it before a ray of purple hit Tony square in the back of the head. He went flying forward into Peter, who barely had time to wrap a supportive arm around Tony and shoot a web to the top of a building to stop them before they could hit the floor. Peter gently lowered Tony to the ground, panic rising in his throat because his eyes were closed and  _ he was unresponsive, Iron Man was unresponsive _ , and turned and fired a web back in the direction the shot had come from. His gaze was unfocused, too overrun with panic, but he trusted Karen to give him the proper directions so the web could hit its mark.

Peter turned his gaze back to the man in front of him, the man who was lying unconscious, encased in metal.

“Tony.” Peter put his hands on either side of the helmet, breaths coming out quicker with each passing second, each passing second that Tony didn’t respond, didn’t open his eyes. “Friday,” he gasped, tears welling up - but he couldn’t cry, not now, because Tony needed him.

Iron Man needed him.

“Friday, unlatch the Iron Man helmet. Access code 9840.”

Friday complied without a word, and immediately Peter was rushing to pull off the helmet and toss it aside. He leaned over Tony, called his name, slapped his cheek - but Tony wouldn’t respond.

“Vitals?” Peter sobbed, gnawing on his lower lip as he put his hands on either side of Tony’s face.  _ Wake up, wake up, wake up- _

“Boss seems to have received a concussion. Immediate medical attention is suggested.”

Relief crashed over Peter like a wave and he leaned down, lying his head on Tony’s chest with his arms resting loosely around Tony’s shoulders.

“So he’s alive.”

“Yes, although he requires immediate medical attention.”

Peter sighed and closed his eyes, letting the cool of the Iron Man suit calm him down like it always did - but this time, something was different. The reason why the suit always calmed him down was because the arms would wrap around him. The repulsors would still be glowing from delivering saving shots, and a gauntlet might even be resting on the crown of his head.

But now… now it was just a metal suit.

Friday’s words repeated themselves in Peter’s mind.  _ Immediate medical attention _ , but Tony was okay. He was  _ alive _ , so Peter just needed to get him to the med bay, and he would be fine.

He would heal. Of course he would. He was  _ Tony Stark _ .

Peter pulled away from Tony just enough to wrap his arms around his torso and- shit. Peter just saw Tony’s face, his  _ unresponsive _ face, eyes closed and head rolling limply to his side. Peter blinked back his tears and looked away, reaching for the Iron Man helmet that lay on Tony’s opposite side. He put it gently back on Tony’s head but it didn’t click into place, and Peter smiled as he touched a hand to the side of the helmet.

“I’ll take care of you, Mr. Stark,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms once more around Tony’s body. “Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.”

Peter lifted Tony into a fireman’s carry and took a deep breath, trying not to think too much about his unconcious mentor lying across his shoulders. He shot a web to the top of a nearby building and began to haul himself up. Tony wasn’t unconscious. They were just… going for a ride, yes, and that was why Peter spoke to Tony the entire time, pointing out everything he saw on his daily patrols, giving Tony insights on his life.

“You see that lady? She’s the one that bought me the churro.”

“I walk those kids home from school some days.”

“I know all this swinging around is scary, Mr. Stark, but you can’t scream too much or I’ll drop you.”

“I mean, what you do is scary, too. We’re lucky you always come back safe.  _ I’m  _ lucky.”

“I hope you wake up, Mr. Stark. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  * _Day 1_ •

Peter had to wait until the next morning to get Tony’s results.

May drove him to the tower first thing in the morning and they sat in the med bay waiting room for exactly two minutes and twenty seconds before Cho was walking towards them, her expression… solemn.

_ Why was it solemn?  _ Friday said Tony was alive - but then again, she had also said  _ immediate  _ medical attention. What if Peter spent too much time being a crybaby and didn’t get Tony help in time? What if, whatever Cho’s news was, it was  _ his  _ fault?

Peter and May stood at the same time, May with a supporting hand on his arm - that Peter barely felt.

Cho gave May a soft smile. Then, her eyes moved to Peter.

“Tony is doing well. He is stabilized and resting in his room. He has what modern science would call a minor concussion….” Cho trailed off, looking away, and Peter subconsciously leaned forward.

“What is it?” Peter’s voice was panicked, more worried than he was willing to admit. Cho said Tony was doing well. She said he was stabilized and resting with just a minor concussion… no, she said what  _ modern science  _ would call a minor concussion.

What did that mean? What was wrong?

Cho took a deep breath and looked up at Peter. “Since the weapon used on him was alien, we’re not fully sure of its capabilities - and all traces of the weapon and the person that fired it were gone when we returned to the alleyway, so there’s no way to check. My point is, Tony is exhibiting signs of a concussion, but he’s also experiencing… extreme memory loss. Amnesia. More intense than that which usually follows a concussion.”

At first, Peter didn’t understand. May’s grip tightened on his arm. “So, what, he doesn’t remember how he got knocked out?”

Cho looked between him and May. “Peter, he doesn’t remember  _ anything _ .”

Peter froze. His breath caught in his throat and he had to close his eyes and focus on  _ breathing  _ for a second. In and out, in and out-

Peter stopped himself when he realized the voice in his head was  _ Tony’s _ , coaching him through a panic attack he had while in the workshop two weeks ago.

Peter opened his eyes and first turned his eyes to May, who looked more worried than Peter had ever seen her, than he was  _ comfortable  _ seeing her. Then he looked to Cho, who was watching him with a careful expression.

“What-” Peter stopped himself, cleared his throat. “What do you mean, he doesn’t remember  _ anything? _ ”

“I mean, he needed clarification for his own name.”

  * • •

The next moments for Peter were all a blur. He vaguely remembers May asking questions in medical terminology he probably would’ve been able to decipher if he were paying attention, and Cho’s responses in short but caring words. He remembers following after Cho down the hallway, though he doesn’t remember whether or not he was running. He must’ve been, because when he pushed open the door to the room Cho had told him was Tony’s, he was ahead of the two women, who had come to a stop a respectable distance away.

“Peter.” May moved forward cautiously, and Peter froze with a hand on the doorknob and turned his head towards her, but his eyes were blurry, unfocused. Maybe he was distracted. Maybe he had ran too fast and was now recovering from a dizzy spell, or maybe they were tears.

“Baby, do you want me in there with you?”

Peter doesn’t remember turning down her offer, but he must’ve somehow, because when he walked into Tony’s room, he was alone.

He says  _ room _ , but if Peter were paying attention, he would’ve noticed it was far larger, far  _ fancier _ , than any hospital room he had ever seen. The bed was huge, with proper sheets, and the t.v. on the far wall was so big and advanced, Peter wondered if it was even  _ allowed  _ to be in a hospital room.

If Peter was paying attention, he would’ve noticed he had been here before. Multiple times, in fact - but he was only focused on the figure on the bed, where  _ he  _ usually sat.

Tony was sitting upright, his back against the padded headrest, as he watched Peter skeptically - Peter, who was about to cry at the fact that Tony was looking at him like he didn’t even  _ know _ him.

Peter froze just inside the doorway and fiddled with his fingers as the door slid shut behind him, confining the two of them in the room together.

Tony stared at Peter for a minute. Then, he sighed and rolled his shoulders back. He lifted a hand and urged Peter forward with a finger.

“They tell me you’re Peter.”

Peter forced himself to nod, forced a smile on his face, forced his feet to move and bring him toward the man who remembered too little.

“They tell me you can’t remember your name,” Peter answered with a slight smile. Tony still had his sense of humour, right? Goodness, Peter hoped so, or this conversation was going to go downhill  _ really  _ fast.

“Uh, yeah, I do. Toby Stank.”

Peter froze and his eyes widened. Tony didn’t remember. Shit, he  _ really didn’t remember.  _ If he barely remembered his own name, was there any chance of him remembering  _ Peter? _

“Whoa. Hold on there, squirt, I was just kidding.”

Peter froze and refocused on Tony, and he thought he saw a hint of - well, of  _ Tony  _ behind the confused exterior.

Peter smiled and let out a weak chuckle. “Right. Sorry.”

Tony sighed and looked around at the room. “They say I own this building. I’m rich. I made all these rooms, but this one especially, and it wasn’t for me.” Tony looked back to Peter, and Peter wanted to shrink under his scrutinizing gaze - but it wasn’t cold; simply curious. “Tell me, what makes you so special to me that I design you a hospital room including a bed with a padded headboard, fleece sheets, and a 70” flatscreen?”

Peter felt the breath get knocked out of him at that question. What  _ did  _ make him so special? He had asked himself this multiple times and never came up with an answer - and if he couldn’t answer, and if  _ Tony  _ couldn’t answer, what did he have left?

Peter just smiled and shrugged, looked down at his legs, blinked back tears, tried to ignore how much the question hurt him.

“Well, there’s gotta be  _ something _ ,” Tony continued as if Peter’s entire world wasn’t shattering by the second, as if every new word Tony said wasn’t an added rock being thrown at his glass walls. “At least tell me your last name. Maybe that’ll jog my memory.”

A flare of hope flickered to life in Peter’s chest. Yes, Tony referred to him as  _ Parker  _ more than he did  _ Peter _ . Maybe if Peter said the word  _ Parker _ , put the word in Tony’s mouth, he’d remember, and everything would be good again.

Peter looked up and met the gaze of a slightly-smirking Tony Stark.

“Parker. Peter Parker.”

Tony smiled, and Peter’s heart skipped a beat. He remembered,  _ of course  _ he did-

“That’s alliteration.”

Peter’s breath came out shallow. His chest felt hollow and filled with rocks at the same time. It took all his strength to smile weekly and nod.

“Yeah. It is.”

Tony sniffled and looked to the space around him. “I know you’ve got questions, squirt. Probably about what I remember, right?” Peter nodded, not trusting himself to speak. “Well, I’ve got a few for you, too. Let’s go back and forth, shall we?” Peter nodded again, but Tony didn’t even look at him before he began to speak. “First off, who are you to me? Please tell me you’re not my honest-to-goodness child.”

Peter gnawed on his lip, tried not to let on how much the question hurt him.  _ Who am I to the great Tony Stark?  _ Answer: nobody.

“I’m, uh...” Peter thought for a moment. “Intern.”

Tony looked at him with narrowed eyes. “Do I give hospital rooms in my personal wing this large to all my interns?”

Peter cocked his head slightly and smiled, hoping it conveyed confidence, sass, and assuredness worthy of Tony Stark. “Guess I must be special.”

“Why?” Tony wasn’t being rude, just curious, and that was obvious in his tone. Still, Peter couldn’t answer him.

“My turn.” Tony chuckled and raised his hand, urging Peter on. “What do you remember about your hobbies? Do you have any activities you… do often?”  _ Do you know about Iron Man? Do you remember Spider-Man? _

Tony squinted his eyes. “Weird question. But… no. Well, not specifically. I like engineering and science. My fingers keep twitching to do something, fiddle with something, maybe type up a program.” He nodded to a computer for medical purposes that sat in the corner. “Do I make anything special? Is this building…  _ my  _ company? What does it do?”

“More than one question.” Tony chuckled at Peter’s sass. “This is your building, and your company.  _ Stark Industries _ . You make… special stuff.”  _ Like the Iron Man suit. _

“Well, thanks for being specific, squirt.”

“I wasn’t finished.” Tony laughed and tilted his head curiously, while at the same time proving he was listening. “You make these… robots, and they’re amazing. And you make AIs…. Hey, Friday?”

“Yes, Peter?”

Tony’s eyes shot to the ceiling at Friday’s sudden appearance, and for a moment, Peter cursed himself for scaring the amnesic patient. Then, Tony smiled, a full-out grin.

“Friday!” He laughed and clapped his hands together. Peter recoiled. This wasn’t… Tony didn’t… remember? He didn’t remember a project he made before  _ Peter _ , right?

“Hello, Boss.”

“Hey, girl. I missed you.”

Tony brought his eyes back to Peter, but Peter wasn’t looking back at him. Actually, Peter wasn’t there at  _ all _ . He had disappeared, gone out of the room, couldn’t bear to be there a minute longer. The only sign that he had been there at all was the door clicking shut behind him.

  * _Day 2_ •

Peter had May drive him straight home. He didn’t say a word to her. He could barely thank Dr. Cho through his tears.

He spent that night crying into his pillow.

Peter woke the next morning with a wet pillow and dried tears on his cheeks, but he refused to wake up this way tomorrow. Today would be different. He would get Tony to remember…  _ something _ . He was sure of it.

“Hiya, squirt” were the first words Peter heard when he returned to Tony’s room. So, he had a new nickname now. Peter wondered if it would stick when Tony remembered.

…  _ If  _ Tony remembered.

Peter found a seat already waiting by the bed when he walked in. He sat in it with slight hesitation, but Tony looked open, relaxed. He still wasn’t  _ Peter’s  _ Tony, the boy could tell. They didn’t have that special bond (would they ever again?) but there was a different one there, based on different conversations and memories, that had all began yesterday.

Peter forced himself to smile, but by the curious look on Tony’s face, he could tell Tony saw through it. (Tony always could.)

“Come back for more questions and answers? I was just visited by Steve Rogers, by the way. Nice chap. Captain America came to visit me, can you believe that?”

_ Wait ‘till you meet Bucky Barnes _ , Peter found himself thinking. He had to keep himself from physically recoiling at the gallows humour.

“Yeah, he’s… he’s a nice guy. Did he tell you anything interesting?”  _ About Captain America? About Iron Man? About… about Spider-Man?  _ Peter bit back a sigh. His thoughts always ended up back at this depressing topic.

“Don’t you think learning that I know Captain America is interesting enough?” When Peter didn’t laugh, Tony sobered quickly. “Well, no, we just had a simple conversation. He told me he had experience with amnesia when he came out of the ice. Geez, 70 years in ice, can you believe that? How many blankets would you need to warm you up after that? Anyway, said his mind was a bit screwed up. Said he could relate to me. I told him it was extreme brain freeze. He laughed at that. Seems like a fun guy.”

Peter cocked his head. There was something interesting about Tony’s words, about the way he spoke…  _ oh _ . Peter hadn’t heard this tone in Tony’s voice, not for six years since he drove Peter home from Germany and had a conversation with him in the car as Happy collected Peter’s bags from the trunk.

Tony was rambling. He was  _ nervous _ .

Tony had woken up in a world he didn’t recognize, being told he was a person he didn’t remember, with people claiming to be his friends that he couldn’t trust. As much as Peter hated this, it must’ve been ten times worse for Tony.

“Anyway, enough about the Cap. It’s my turn for a question. What do I want to know….” Tony stroked at his chin, and Peter wanted to smile, wanted to laugh at the way Tony was being extra because he could  _ sense  _ something was off with Peter (he always could), but Peter couldn’t bring himself to. There was a hollow feeling of dread in Peter’s stomach that kept growing with every word out of Tony’s mouth, because everything Tony said just confirmed that he  _ wasn’t  _ Tony - at least, not the Tony Peter knew - and he might never be again.

Dr. Cho had said it herself.  _ Alien tech _ . This was uncharted territory. Tony might have to rebuild his memories from  _ scratch _ .

Tony remembered an AI. He was on his way to remembering Steve Rogers.

But he didn’t remember Peter Parker.

“Peter. Hey.” Peter looked up suddenly when Tony called his name. “We can’t do this whole question-and-answer thing if there’s no answer.”

“Right. Sorry.” Peter rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. “What was the question?”

Tony sighed and smiled good-heartedly. “Got any family?”

“Oh, uh, just my Aunt.” Peter shrugged. He waited for something else to happen. Then he looked up at Tony, and realized the man looked a little…  _ sad _ .

“Do… do I have any family? I can’t remember. But I should be able to if I did… right?” Tony didn’t continue, but Peter understood the last part of what he was trying to say.  _ How broken am I? _

For the first time in two days, Peter heard something in Tony’s voice he hadn’t before.  _ Fear.  _ First there was the rambling, and now, he seemed…  _ scared _ .

Tony Stark didn’t  _ do  _ scared.

Peter thought for a moment, looking somewhere off to the far side of the room. He couldn’t look at Tony for this part.

“You don’t have any siblings. I don’t remember hearing you speak about aunts or uncles or cousins, and your parents… they died in a car accident. But you have friends, really close friends, and they’re kind of like your family.”

Tony blinked up at the ceiling and sighed deeply. “My parent’s deaths, were they recent?”

Peter shook his head with a sympathetic smile. “It was a while ago. You’ve come to terms with it.”

“Have I?” Peter looked back to Tony when his tone suddenly became hostile. “How do you know? You’re just my intern, apparently. If you were actually important to me, I would have remembered you by now.”

Peter recoiled as if he had been hit, and a look of sympathy and apology flashed across Tony’s face.

“Hey.” Peter hadn’t realized he was crying until Tony’s soft tone made him tear up more. “ _ Hey _ . I’m sorry. Look, this is hard for me. Things are… slowly coming back to me, I guess. I mean, I can’t even remember my… my own  _ family _ . I know I’m important to you, and that means you must be important to me, but I don’t remember.” Tony opened his mouth, then closed it again. Played with the sheets on his bed. “That scares me.”

Peter nodded, looking down at his legs. Tony was making the effort. He was piecing things together, at least, and that should make Peter feel better. It  _ should _ , but it didn’t, because Tony still wasn’t  _ Tony _ , and Peter wondered if he ever would be again.

“Hey, why don’t you tell me about these friends-slash-family of mine? Is Captain America, like, my long-lost brother? Please say yes.”

Peter chuckled at the sudden change of topic. That was so like Tony, doing anything he could to make Peter as content as possible.

“Well, you have Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes-”

“Man, Lieutenant Colonel? How’d I score that?”

Peter chuckled. “You call him Rhodey.”

“Rhodey!” Tony laughed. “Yes! Rhodes - wait, where is he? Why hasn’t he come down to visit?”

Peter froze. “You - you remember him?”

“Well, of course I remember my Platypus-” Tony caught himself too late. “Oh. Well, my memories - they’re just… they come randomly, Peter, I promise you. Don’t- don’t take it personally.”

“Yeah.” Peter took a deep breath before nodding and smiling. “Yeah, you’re right. Should - would you like me to call him?”

A smile grew on Tony’s face, but he stopped suddenly and looked at Peter for a minute.

“Are you going to stay with us?”

Peter opened his mouth, then closed it again, just staring at Tony. Tony smiled, like he knew exactly what was running through Peter’s mind. (He always did.)

“Oh, uh, sure. Yeah. Alright. I mean, if you’d-”

“Squirt.” Peter clamped his lips together. “Stop talking. Go get my Rhodey.”

Peter smiled as he stood from his chair and left the room. The second the door closed behind him, he cried.

  * • •

Tony and Rhodes got along  _ splendidly _ , just like before. Tony truly remembered him,  _ every aspect  _ of him, and if that wasn’t salt in the wound, Peter didn’t know what was. They didn’t even need to recount anything. They conversed as if nothing had happened, no time had passed.

It took Tony fifteen minutes to remember Peter.

He raised an arm in a grand sweep in Peter’s direction. “This, honeybear, is Peter Parker.”

Rhodes gave him a funny-looking, sympathetic smile. “I - I know, Tones.”

Realization dawned on Tony’s face, and Peter saw past his confident exterior. Tony - he was shocked. He was  _ frightened _ . He had just realized that everyone knew something he didn’t. Everyone knew Tony better than he himself did.

“Oh.” The sound was small. Tony had tried to disguise it, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t hide anything.

“Hey.” Rhodes leaned forward. “That’s alright. You’ll get it back.” Rhodes glanced at Peter out of the corner of his eye. “Hey, Pete, you wanna give us a minute?”

Peter smiled, tight-lipped and unrevealing, and left the room without another word, without a glance back. As soon as the door closed behind him, he heard chairs readjust (enhanced hearing) - Rhodes moving closer to Tony, he assumed.

“Hey.” That voice was Rhodes’. “You don’t remember…  _ anything  _ about Peter?”

Peter heard Tony sigh. “You know I don’t. You’re… you’re sure I know him?” Rhodes must’ve nodded, because Tony continued, “I want to remember him, ‘cause clearly I mean something to  _ him _ ….”

Rhodes scoffed. “Understatement.” There was a pause. “You’ll remember. I know you will.”

“Yeah, I hope so… but, look, why don’t you just tell me about him? Help me remember?”

Rhodes’ answer was immediate. “No, Tones, that wouldn’t be the best idea.”

“And why not? The more he tells me about you guys, the faster I remember.”

“I don’t want you to feel you have to reach the point in your relationship in mere days that you’ve formulated over years. You have to get there naturally, Tones. It’s what’s healthy.”

“So what? He came to visit me today. He’s been in here yesterday, too, just talking me through this. He’s the only one that’s been here twice. He even had to call you in here, and you’re my best friend! If he cares this much, why don’t I remember him?”

Rhodes didn’t respond, but even if he did, Peter wouldn’t have heard it. The tears were already coming, the sobs barely muffled by his fist in his mouth, and he was already walking away, leaving that room of horrors behind.

  * _Day 3_ •

It was on the third day that May made Peter go back to school. “Tony will heal,” she had said. “In the meantime, you have to take care of yourself, or you know he’ll confiscate your Spider suit, and that won’t be good for anyone.”

School was hard, to say the least. Every time Flash made a comment about, “Do you  _ really  _ know Tony Stark, Penis?” he wanted to reply,  _ not anymore _ . And for some reason, his teachers decided to talk about Tony Stark in not one, but  _ two  _ of his classes - history, and physics.

Needless to say, Peter was miserable.

That morning, May had given Peter permission to walk directly to the tower after school. It was a longer distance from the school to their apartment, but May didn’t mind. She knew Peter had enhanced endurance, and the walk would help him clear his mind. Plus, the closer he got to the tower, the better the neighbourhoods got, and the less chance he would get into trouble. And if he did, he was Spider-Man. He could take care of himself. May knew that. She trusted him.

The walk was supposed to clear Peter’s head. That was what he expected. That was what he  _ relied  _ on, but it didn’t work. Nothing ever seemed to. Every moment of every day was filled with Tony Stark. Would he ever fully recover? How would the world fare without Tony Stark, without Iron Man? How would  _ Peter  _ fare?

He wouldn’t. Tony  _ had  _ to remember him. There was no other way.

Peter’s heartbeat grew louder in his ears with every step he took toward the tower, toward Tony. Would today be the day? Would Tony remember him?

Nope.

He remembered Happy, though, and Natasha, by the looks of her laughing at his bedside and him smiling just outside the window, watching. The smile slipped from Happy’s face when he saw Peter and he stared straight ahead, always the epitome of calm, cool, collected.

“Hey, Happy.”

Happy must’ve noticed the kid’s voice was quieter than usual, because the corner of his mouth twitched when Peter walked passed. “Can I go in?”

Happy gave a single, steady nod, and opened the door for him.

Peter stepped into the room with shaking legs. Natasha and Tony looked up suddenly and her eyes widened, while his flickered with a plethora of emotions. Happiness, maybe? Familiarity (but not recognition). Sadness, potentially, but confusion was most dominant.

It always was.

“Peter Parker,” Tony greeted him, and Peter smiled in response, clutching the straps of his backpack tighter as Happy slammed the door shut behind him. “You’re Spider-Man?”

Peter’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. Maybe that original analysis he did when walking in was wrong. Maybe Tony  _ did  _ remember him-

“I told him.” Natasha’s voice startled Peter from his thoughts and he met her eyes in shock. She looked apologetic, like she knew what he was thinking and wanted to stop him before he got too far.

“... Oh.”

“That’s cool, though,” Tony interrupted, tone light. “She showed me videos.” Peter bypassed the fact that Natasha and Tony discussed him and skipped right to,  _ three days of my face, taking about me, my life. Learning about my alter-ego. Seeing videos of me, and you still don’t remember? _

“Do you manufacture those webs yourself? Tensile strength is off the charts.”

Peter’s heart skipped a beat and he froze in his tracks. He couldn’t stop himself. “That’s exactly what you said the first time we met.”

Tony’s mouth dropped open as he stared at Peter, while Natasha just moved her eyes to her lap. Peter scuffed his feet on the carpet as he shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. He was sure it didn’t work.

He moved to the opposite side of the bed that Natasha was on, as she was sitting in his seat. He leaned back against the wall, squishing his backpack, just as Natasha began to get up.

“I was going to go-”

“No. No, it’s fine. Stay, please.” He shared a look with Natasha. Tried to convey,  _ anything you can get him to remember…. _ She seemed to understand.

She and Tony spoke about everything from Avengers dealings to Tony’s midlife crisis and palladium poisoning all those years ago. Peter listened without a word. Every now and then Tony would look over at him, give him a reassuring smile, but his eyes would never linger for long. He would always return to Natasha.

He never remembered Peter.

  * _Day 4_ •

Cho had given Tony permission to return to his normal life  _ out  _ of the med bay, once he remembered her, and a great deal of other people. As of now, the only people Tony seemed  _ not  _ to remember were Bucky, Sam, and… and him. And Peter.

The second Peter arrived at the tower that evening, even  _ that _ theory was disproved, because Sam and Bucky were leaving the elevator just as Peter reached it, smiling and chuckling, elbowing each other in the ribs.

“Come to say hi to your dad?” Sam joked, but the smile slipped from his face the minute he saw Peter’s flat expression. “Oh. Does he....?”

Peter couldn’t even bring himself to smile, to be friendly, as he shook his head. “He doesn’t remember me.”

Bucky and Sam shared a look before Bucky stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on Peter’s shoulder. Peter didn’t look up. “It’s gonna be okay, Peter. After… HYDRA, I couldn’t even remember Steve, and we were friends for 20-something years. I researched him before I met him, and we still had to have quite a few face-to-face meetings before I fully remembered him.” Peter shook his head and sniffled. “ _ Hey _ . He’ll come around.”

“Yeah.” Peter nodded slightly. “Thanks.”

Bucky waited a few more seconds before squeezing Peter’s shoulder slightly, then stepping back and walking away, Sam in tow.

Peter stepped into the elevator and had Friday take him to wherever Tony was. The doors opened to Tony’s personal floor, where none other than the man himself was standing just outside the doors. He had probably just finished saying bye to Bucky and Sam. Peter just stared at Tony. Tony stared back.

Peter didn’t waste time on pleasantries. He took a single step out of the elevator, enough for the doors to close behind him, and cut to the chase. “Nothing?”

Tony shook his head. “Sorry, squirt.”

Peter pinched his lips together and looked away. “Does it at least feel like something’s missing?” When Tony didn’t respond, Peter just chuckled humourlessly and nodded. “Yeah.”

“But Peter, that doesn’t mean-”

“Whatever.”

“Peter-”

“It’s been six years!” Peter shouted as he snapped his attention back to Tony. Tony stiffened suddenly and stared at him, eyes wide. He looked like he wanted to argue, discipline Peter, but he was biting his tongue.

“It’s….” tears began to sting Peter’s eyes, and he looked away. “It’s been six years since we met, don’t you remember? You invited me to Germany, to fight….”

“Cap,” Tony answered. “I remember.”

Peter chuckled humourlessly. “Yeah. Of course you do.”

“Pete-”

“No. No, you can’t tell me you didn’t care! Not after everything! You… you took care of me. You built me my suit. You protected me when I went out as Spider-Man, and you’d follow me with the Iron Man suit. That’s how you got like this, remember? You were protecting me, and they shot you… and it was  _ my fault _ .”

“Kid-”

“Don’t call me that,” Peter whispered, shaking his head and looking at the floor. “You- you  _ used  _ to call me that. Now, you call me squirt.”

“I’m the same person, Peter. It’s still me.”

“It’s not.” Peter was trying to blink back tears, but he couldn’t contain it. “ _ You’re  _ not. Tony before… we were close. All the time. We’d have lab days together. We’d work on your Iron Man suit and my Spider-Man one, and you’d make me call you, every single day, after patrol so you could see how I was doing, make sure I was okay.”

“Peter-”

“No-”

“ _ Peter! _ ” Peter froze and pinched his lips together, looking up at Tony with wide, watering eyes. “Peter. This is hard for me, too, okay? Look, you mean a lot to me.” Peter started to shake his head, but Tony was having none of it. “ _ Hey _ . Listen to me. I only remember the last four days with you, but already, I… I feel something for you, squirt.”

Peter shuddered at the nickname, and Tony cursed under his breath.

“Do you want me to call you  _ kid?  _ Do you want me to treat you like before? Maybe that will help me remember, make all this better-”

“I don’t want you to  _ fake  _ it.” Peter laughed under his breath, but it was humourless. He was sure his eyes were lit up with some sort of crazy. “I want you to be  _ you  _ again.”

“I  _ am  _ me, Peter, with a few missing memories, but I’m trying to remember. Don’t you think I’m trying? Don’t you think I want to know you again?”

“I don’t know! I think if you were  _ trying _ , you’d remember by now! You remember everyone else!”

“That’s not fair-”

“Oh, isn’t it?” Peter gnawed on his lower lip, looking to the side.

“Look, Peter, why don’t you come inside? I can make you some- what, do you like hot chocolate?”

“You should know that I do.”

Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of something to say. He couldn’t think of anything, so Peter spoke for him.

“Is it because you don’t want to remember me? Is that it?”

“I promise you, Peter, I’m trying. I’m trying as hard as I can to remember you, but it’s a battle, and I can’t-”

“Then fight.”

Tony hesitated. “What?”

“If it’s a battle, then fight! Fight like you mean it!”

“I’m  _ trying _ .”

“No, you’re not. Look, if I forgot me, I’d say  _ thank goodness _ , too. I’d just live and let live.”

“That’s not what I’m doing-”

“I always knew I was a burden. This is just the final proof. Now you can finally live the life you wanted, one without me in it.” Peter reached behind him and pressed the button for the elevator.

“Peter, although I don’t remember, I know - I  _ know  _ I wouldn’t want that. Heck, I’ve known you for four days, and I  _ still  _ don’t want to let you go!”

“That’s alright,” Peter said quietly, looking down as the elevator reached their floor and the doors opened behind him. “That’s okay. You don’t have to lie to me. I’ll… I’ll go, and you… you can finally be happy.”

“Peter, I’m happier with you here!”

But his words were falling on deaf ears, or  _ nonexistent _ ears, because Peter was already stepping into the waiting elevator, and the doors were closing between them.

  * _Day 5_ •

Peter walked straight home from school today. May asked him why he didn’t go to the tower. He didn’t answer.

  * _Day 6_ •

The weekend. Peter’s first after Tony. He couldn’t go out as Spider-Man, for fear of putting someone else in danger, and he  _ definitely  _ couldn’t go to the lab.

At least, he didn’t  _ want  _ to. May made him.

That’s how he ended up standing in front of Tony’s workbench, May’s hand heavy on his shoulder, keeping him in place, as Tony looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

“I think Peter has something to say.”

Peter pulled away from May and stared at her with wide eyes. “Wh-  _ me?  _ You think  _ I  _ have something to apologize for?”

May stared down at Peter with crossed arms. “I don’t think. I  _ know _ . You’ve had that look on your face all of yesterday-”

“ _ What  _ look?”

“- _ and  _ you haven’t been to see Tony since.”

May turned to look at Tony then. “Look, Tony, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t worry about it, May, really.”

“Wait,  _ May? _ ” Peter looked between the two adults, mouth agape. “May. You - you  _ remember  _ her?”

May grabbed Peter shoulders and stood in front of him, blocking Tony from his view.

“ _ Hey _ . You’ve gotta calm down, okay? Because when Tony remembers-” a strangled sound ripped its way from Peter’s throat- “ _ when  _ Tony remembers, because he  _ will _ , you will feel very stupid, alright? So  _ get your act together _ .”

And with that she was gone, walking with purpose out of the room… leaving Tony and Peter alone.

Tony returned to his project the minute she was gone. Peter put his hands in his pockets and looked around the room, looked anywhere but at Tony.

“Look, I- I’m sorry May brought me back here. I tried to stay away, I know that’s what you want-”

“Peter.” Tony stood from his chair without a moment’s hesitation and moved to stand in front of Peter. He raised his hand slowly before dropping it on Peter’s shoulder and squeezing gently. To Peter, the feeling felt familiar - but so,  _ so  _ different.

“Listen to me, Peter.  _ Please _ .” Peter slowly brought his eyes up to look at Tony. “I don’t want that, okay? Not at all. Not before, not now.”

“How do you know?” Peter’s eyes began to brim with tears. “You don’t remember.”

“I don’t need to remember. I know  _ you _ . I know who you are, and that’s enough.”

“But you promised me you were trying to remember. You promised!”

Tony didn’t respond, and Peter didn’t say anything. He didn’t know  _ what  _ to say. All he could do was stand there as Tony awkwardly stepped away and returned to his desk. He took a minute, but soon he was working again, grabbing tools and scraps and attaching them in ways Peter found all too familiar - except….

Peter was used to watching Tony from the desk across from him, and not standing a few steps away.

Slowly, tentatively, Peter took a step toward the desk, toward  _ his  _ desk - and, when Tony didn’t react, he took another, and then another, and soon, he was sitting across from Tony. The view, seeing Tony from this angle, it was familiar, but still not… not  _ comfortable _ .

“Hey, uh, Pete.” Tony spoke without looking up. “Could you pass me that wrench? Just beside your hand.”

Peter looked down at the desk and found the wrench, handing it to Tony as if on autopilot, because this was so normal, so definitive of their relationship-

“Peter.”

Something in Tony’s voice, the way he said Peter’s name, the  _ tone  _ in which he said it, had Peter looking up suddenly, meeting Tony’s wide eyes with his own.

“Peter, I  _ remember _ .”

Peter froze in his chair. “Are- are you sure?”

Tony shoved his chair back and moved faster than Peter’d ever seen him to kneel in front of his kid.

“You were that kid at the Stark Expo with those Hammer drones all those years ago, and I practically had a heart attack when you told me. You didn’t want to go to Germany because you had homework. Your hot Aunt May tried to make me walnut date loaf on that very first day I met you-”

Tony couldn’t finish, because soon he was being forced to support an armful of Peter, who was sobbing against his shoulder, gripping onto Tony like a lifeline.

“Tony. Tony, you- you  _ forgot  _ me-”

“Kid, I could never.”

Peter didn’t say anything else. He closed his eyes and gripped Tony tighter, and now everything felt… it felt  _ right _ . The stars were aligned. The world was finally back on its axis. Tony… he was  _ Tony  _ again, at least, in Peter’s eyes.

“Peter.” Tony weaved a hand into Peter’s curls. “Do you really think you’re a burden? Do you… do you really think I don’t want you here?”

Peter just buried his head deeper against Tony’s shoulder and closed his eyes against the tears.

“Peter, you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. And if you ever,  _ ever  _ try to leave my life again….” Tony cut himself off and tightened his grip on Peter. “I love you, Peter, okay? And don’t you ever doubt that.”

Peter took a deep breath for the first time in six days - and he finally let himself smile, openly, freely.

“I love you, too.”

Tony held him tighter and sighed in contentment - but Peter, Peter was  _ crying _ .

“It’s my fault,” he sobbed. “It’s my fault you got hurt, it’s my fault you  _ forgot _ .”

“Parker.” Peter couldn’t help but smile through the tears at his nickname, at the  _ right  _ nickname. “None of that was your fault, and I don’t want to hear you say that ever again.”

“But if Karen didn’t call you-”

Tony grabbed Peter’s shoulders and forced the boy away from him, holding him out at arm’s length.

“And  _ I  _ chose to answer the call.  _ I  _ chose to come to you, and I would protect you from a thousand more villains and lose my memory a thousand more times if it meant I could keep you safe.”

Peter shook his head, eyes squinting through the tears. Even then, his vision was blurry. “I don’t want you to.”

Tony smiled, scoffed, pulled Peter back into his embrace. “Yeah. Me, neither.”

“Do you-” Peter’s words were quiet, hesitant. “Do you remember, now? Everything?”

Tony sighed. “I hope so. I mean, everything feels more…  _ complete  _ now.”

Peter smiled and clasped his hands behind Tony’s back, holding him tighter. “I thought you said you didn’t feel anything missing when you forgot me.”

“I didn’t feel it, but that didn’t mean nothing was.” Tony gently released Peter and pulled away, leaving his hands on his shoulders. “But if you  _ ever  _ even  _ think  _ about leaving me again, I will  _ definitely  _ feel it, and you will be grounded for the rest of your life. Forced to spend time with me.”

Peter chuckled and looked down.

“Hey.” Tony tapped a gentle finger under Peter’s chin, and the boy looked back up at him. “You know those friends that feel like family you were telling me about?” Peter nodded, gnawing on his lip. “You know you’re one of ‘em, right?”

Peter fought to contain his smile to a close-lipped smirk, but he couldn’t, and soon he was beaming and laughing, and Tony was joining in. He ruffled a hand in Peter’s hair as he moved back to his workbench, and Peter sat across from him.

“Nice to have you back squirt.” Peter shuddered, and Tony laughed. “What? Not a fan of the nickname?” Peter shook his head, a nervous smile crossing his features. “Alright then. What’re we working on today, kid?”

**Author's Note:**

> I sincerely hope I didn’t make it sound like amnesic people aren’t themselves. This is just how Peter feels, because he’s so young, he defines Tony only by the relationship the two hold. <3


End file.
